hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
