i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize