Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
