He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
