Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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