her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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