In the future we'll all be gay
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
