i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
