And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
