2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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