you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
