Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
is it fun? or sober?
dude. I can hear the air.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
