He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
