Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
