All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
