dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
