You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
