It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
