Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
