i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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