Say something about gay babies.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
COCAINE IS GR8
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
