I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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