I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Rumble strips road head = magical
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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