bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
