The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have feelings that need drinking.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
