I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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