at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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