its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
