You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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