So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
