I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
