My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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