are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
