i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?