Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
