I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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