i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize