It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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