The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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