isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
