Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
