Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
