At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize