I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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