just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize