I wannas sexs uuuuu
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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