Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
