dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
