Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
