Just took my morning after pill in the library
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
