The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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