hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Randomize
