I wanna bring you to show and tell
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
