just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
