I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
