You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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