I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
