I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize