So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Come share oat with me in your robe
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
