Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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