Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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