I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We're too hungover to prance.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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