yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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