This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
