Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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